Posts Tagged ‘family’

It seems that everyone I talk to dreads the same part of the holidays – their family. What is it about our family that keeps us so tense and on edge?

Different Personalities

Families are usually made up of a large range of different personalities. So when we get all of these different personalities together in a small space (eg. your house) it is harder to avoid personalities that you don’t mesh well with. For example; I am open-minded, intelligent, half introvert / extrovert, and will start a conversation when there is long silence – where as the personalities that I don’t mesh well with are close-minded, “think” they’re smart, extroverts that need to control the conversation at all times.

How to Deal with Insensitive Extroverts

The best way to deal with these insensitive extroverts is to try to have fun with them. Make your life like a television show and use that persons personality against them for the entertainment of the audience. What I like doing is actually listen to what they’re saying, their tone and demeanor, then mention any inconsistencies. “I find it interesting that you lowered your voice when you talked about Mr. Smith. Why is that?”

Doing this should make them stop to THINK about their delivery. But the hilarious part about doing this is seeing that small speck of vulnerability in their eye as they play back the conversation in their head. To a person who wants to strong arm a conversation, showing vulnerability is a bit of control that you’ve taken away from them. Many insensitive extroverts try to regain control in different ways and it’s funny to guess what they will try to do before they do it. So make this a game and have fun with these people you are being forced to associate with. Make bets with family members how long it will take for that person to walk away, start yelling or call you names in retaliation. LOL this is what I do to the 2 insensitive extroverts in my immediate family, and I hope you have as much fun as I do!

Trying to stay sane this holiday season can be easier if you make a game out of it. In this case, a comedy television show based on your life. So have fun with it!

I had been with my last boyfriend for over 4.5 years. Many of his traditional Catholic family expected that we would get married then start having kids. And he had the same future belief for us as his family did. Sadly, our relationship had to come to an end because I understood his reasons for wanting kids; they were completely contradicting my future lifestyle beliefs (even though I was also baptized Catholic).

• He wanted to experience taking care of a helpless kid – I didn’t want to devote my time and effort to someone other then my relationship
• He wanted to provide for a kid and give her the life he didn’t have – I want to enrich my own life because that is what my parents provided to me
• He was an only child and wants to have a dual child family – I had a younger brother whom I helped rear and I do not want to do it again
• He knows it’s going to be hard work and dedication – I dedicate my life to my partner and work hard at my career and our relationship
• He wants someone to look up to him and look to him for answers – I think it’s silly that people have to create someone that looks up to them whereas I build up my personal and professional relationships with my peers

These types of things are internal desires that he feels he needs to fulfill in order to live a full life. I, on the other hand, feel that caring for children is not all that it’s made up to be. I’m not going to try and convince him my way is right. Neither should he and his family try to convince me their way is right. The idea of doing what’s right is founded by societal, religious and family presures, but I choose to pick my own “right”. Now please stop trying to convince me of something I don’t believe.

Interesting fact: I find that people who think “you have to have kids” are the most close minded people I’ve met.