Posts Tagged ‘Childfree’

As I was strolling through the popular YouTube videos today, I found one that I was pleasantly surprised by.

7 steps of making a baby – “In fact, I would argue that whether you find babies cute is not necessarily relevant to whether you’ll enjoy having a baby.”

I hope you find this as refreshing as I did. :o)

-Jess

I am watching “Love, Marriage and Stinking Thinking” on local tv for the first time where the topic is “too young to get married”.  They are saying that people should get married sooner because of the reproductive system health, grandparents and majority vote. Which means waiting till you are financially stable in your career to raise a child is too chancy.

Reproductive system health – 60% of the kids born from 18-25 year old parents have the ability to live to 100 years old. (study not resourced)

Grandparents – Grandparents are the glue that helps couples to raise grand kids. Have kids younger so the grandparents are healthy enough to take care of them.

Majority vote – He said that since Christians don’t think like everyone else they need to have more than 2 kids to represent the church in the future. This will ultimately out populate the “Pagans” and the “heathens”.

Career vs God – If you wait till you are happy in your career your reproductive system might not allow you to have kids. So you will have to explain to God that you were too selfish to have kids.

What I have to say about this:

First off, when I watch a show like this I think about what their motive is. I have decided that the motive for this episode is to bread for the good of the church. So when he said to have kids sooner he was only thinking of the long term representation of the church.  He justified that the grandparents will be there to help the young married couples to raise the grand-kids physically, emotionally and financially.

I don’t believe that having kids should burden more then the parents. Kids should not be willingly brought into this world thinking the responsibility of the kids should be passed off to others. I think it’s great if the grandparents want to help, but I think it’s selfish for the church and the parents to blindly rely on the grandparents to help. I believe that it is healthy for the new family to be financially stable in order to afford the child. Even if the chances of having kids decrease with age, I believe God would understand that you had to take care of your own health and well-being before trying to bring another human being into this world.

I am renting a room from a single mother and her 1.5 kids. Well, the mother is going through a divorce and the husband is taking care of the son while my landlady is taking care of the daughter.

Anyways, this morning at about 3am I was woken up by the sound of the girl throwing up in the bathroom. I always sleep through the toilet flushes but this girl must have been so nervous about getting braces today, that her nervousness made her throw up… a lot.

My landlady being a single mother, by choice, had to go help her kid. Since she was the parent she;

• HAD to get out of her warm bed
• HAD to comfort her girl at the toilet
• HAD to clean up the mess in her room
• HAD to make something for the girl to eat afterwards because she was hungry
• HAD to loose sleep throughout the whole process

If I was a child and my parent didn’t help me when I was anxious and uneasy, then that would be plane scary. No comforting and no companionship would have made my nervousness increase exponentially.

For example, if I was the mother and I got to sleep at 1am because I was finishing up the annual presentation that would save hundreds of peoples jobs. Since I had to stay up for 2 hours with my kid I had lost sleep and increased my crankiness in the morning. Because no kid who was up for 2 hours in the middle of the night is going to wake up easy in the morning. pish

I am childfree because I don’t want to do all that stuff. Sure, that’s a very selfish thing to say but I really don’t think the “joy” of having a kid (which I don’t believe in) would be just so incredibly strong that would justify taking care of a human being that I willingly created. ewww, that’s just NOT for me. I like my uninterrupted sleep thank you very much.

Today at a farewell party, I was talking with a coworker about me being single and that I might be single for a while. Of course, she inquired and I told her that it’s hard to find a guy who doesn’t want to have a kid.

I just loved her responses so I’ll give you the whole dialog:

My coworker said, “Wait what? Are you saying that you don’t want kids?”

Me, “Yeah, I don’t want kids.”

“Well why not?”

“Well…” pause “… I don’t want to take care of them. I don’t want to take off work because they’re sick. Really, I don’t want the responsibility.”

“What about adopting?”

“Uhm, the same thing. I don’t want the responsibility.”

“Well, I know a girl who didn’t want kids. After she met this one guy, she said she wanted to have kids with him. So never say never.”

…

To tell you the truth, this dialog is absolutely so common with me. I think it stems from the idea that they 1. don’t pay attention to what I’m saying and 2. they aren’t willing to understand my reasons because they already have an idea in their head of how relationships are supposed to be.

So right before I started typing this I thought of a comeback, or another thing to say when people ask me all shocked. So tell me what you think….

“I don’t have a good reason to have kids.”

How does that sound? This way they will be doing more of the talking while I get to understand where they are coming from. I figured, once someone hears that I don’t want to have kids, their little brains are just overwhelmed with their own personal reasons as to why they want to have a kid. So the flood of emotions and personal opinions whirl around in their head at about the same time I would be making my explanation. Hence, why it seems they are not listening.

What are your thoughts? Think my new response will help people understand me more? If it doesn’t help them understand some more than at least they would think it’s too much work, get board and drop the subject. (Which I really don’t mind at all).