A Childfree City

I remember how fun craft time was in elementary school when we dressed up a tissue box to transform it into a magical mailbox. My favorite was gluing paper cut-outs, conversation hearts and glitter to my Valentine card mailbox in hopes that the guy I liked would give me some clue that he liked me too somewhere in the hand selected card, signature and stickers on the envelope.

Later on during high school my view of Valentines Day started to become less magical. The thrill of delivering and receiving hand selected cards started to die because the girls were more into receiving gifts. True a handpicked rose was a gift, but it wasn’t enough compared to jewelry, candies and a dinner out.

I started realizing that the meaning of Valentines Day was to consume. Men needed to purchase expensive stuff because that was what showed your woman you loved her. What made things worse was the next day other women would ask, “what did you get?” So there was a sort of peer pressure among women to actually receive something of value.

To me, Valentines Day is not that magical because it’s about spending money. Did you know that on February 14th and that weekend, all of the restaurants up-sell their wine, desserts and expensive couples meals. I don’t believe in the consumerism that Valentines Day stands for, nor do I believe that there should be only ONE day that a couple should let each other know they care. Everyday we should do little things that don’t cost anything for the other. Maybe that is:

• text messaging a sweet message
• emailing a “thinking of you” note
• little things while at home
• unexpected hugs
• spending time with each other to really embracing why you’re in love

My boyfriends loved that they didn’t have to buy anything and I loved that they understood the daily expectations we were both responsible for. giggles

I am renting a room from a single mother and her 1.5 kids. Well, the mother is going through a divorce and the husband is taking care of the son while my landlady is taking care of the daughter.

Anyways, this morning at about 3am I was woken up by the sound of the girl throwing up in the bathroom. I always sleep through the toilet flushes but this girl must have been so nervous about getting braces today, that her nervousness made her throw up… a lot.

My landlady being a single mother, by choice, had to go help her kid. Since she was the parent she;

• HAD to get out of her warm bed
• HAD to comfort her girl at the toilet
• HAD to clean up the mess in her room
• HAD to make something for the girl to eat afterwards because she was hungry
• HAD to loose sleep throughout the whole process

If I was a child and my parent didn’t help me when I was anxious and uneasy, then that would be plane scary. No comforting and no companionship would have made my nervousness increase exponentially.

For example, if I was the mother and I got to sleep at 1am because I was finishing up the annual presentation that would save hundreds of peoples jobs. Since I had to stay up for 2 hours with my kid I had lost sleep and increased my crankiness in the morning. Because no kid who was up for 2 hours in the middle of the night is going to wake up easy in the morning. pish

I am childfree because I don’t want to do all that stuff. Sure, that’s a very selfish thing to say but I really don’t think the “joy” of having a kid (which I don’t believe in) would be just so incredibly strong that would justify taking care of a human being that I willingly created. ewww, that’s just NOT for me. I like my uninterrupted sleep thank you very much.

Today at a farewell party, I was talking with a coworker about me being single and that I might be single for a while. Of course, she inquired and I told her that it’s hard to find a guy who doesn’t want to have a kid.

I just loved her responses so I’ll give you the whole dialog:

My coworker said, “Wait what? Are you saying that you don’t want kids?”

Me, “Yeah, I don’t want kids.”

“Well why not?”

“Well…” pause “… I don’t want to take care of them. I don’t want to take off work because they’re sick. Really, I don’t want the responsibility.”

“What about adopting?”

“Uhm, the same thing. I don’t want the responsibility.”

“Well, I know a girl who didn’t want kids. After she met this one guy, she said she wanted to have kids with him. So never say never.”

…

To tell you the truth, this dialog is absolutely so common with me. I think it stems from the idea that they 1. don’t pay attention to what I’m saying and 2. they aren’t willing to understand my reasons because they already have an idea in their head of how relationships are supposed to be.

So right before I started typing this I thought of a comeback, or another thing to say when people ask me all shocked. So tell me what you think….

“I don’t have a good reason to have kids.”

How does that sound? This way they will be doing more of the talking while I get to understand where they are coming from. I figured, once someone hears that I don’t want to have kids, their little brains are just overwhelmed with their own personal reasons as to why they want to have a kid. So the flood of emotions and personal opinions whirl around in their head at about the same time I would be making my explanation. Hence, why it seems they are not listening.

What are your thoughts? Think my new response will help people understand me more? If it doesn’t help them understand some more than at least they would think it’s too much work, get board and drop the subject. (Which I really don’t mind at all).

This new year seems to be very good to me. I got back from Las Vegas yesterday and I had a great time! I went to CES where I learned about new technology and got to play with a few toys. The videos I shot are uploading but here are the images for the new interactive child replacement toys. The Pleo baby dinosaur and Paro baby seal are easier to take care of than any child or a real pet.

Pleo from www.PleoWorld.com

Paro from www.Paro.jp