My Life

As a birthday present to myself I was able to get the birth control contraceptive of my dreams – the ParaGard copper IUD.

Before I went into the procedure I took a quick video of my thoughts about the non-hormonal IUD and the troubles I went through just to get it. Since I’ve use numerous birth control methods, I am so glad I was finally able to get this IUD as an alternative to female sterilization!

Please let me know what you think about my first vlog or your thoughts about the IUD contraceptive in the comments. I’d love to know your troubles with getting an IUD as a childfree person. :o)

-Jess

I remember how fun craft time was in elementary school when we dressed up a tissue box to transform it into a magical mailbox. My favorite was gluing paper cut-outs, conversation hearts and glitter to my Valentine card mailbox in hopes that the guy I liked would give me some clue that he liked me too somewhere in the hand selected card, signature and stickers on the envelope.

Later on during high school my view of Valentines Day started to become less magical. The thrill of delivering and receiving hand selected cards started to die because the girls were more into receiving gifts. True a handpicked rose was a gift, but it wasn’t enough compared to jewelry, candies and a dinner out.

I started realizing that the meaning of Valentines Day was to consume. Men needed to purchase expensive stuff because that was what showed your woman you loved her. What made things worse was the next day other women would ask, “what did you get?” So there was a sort of peer pressure among women to actually receive something of value.

To me, Valentines Day is not that magical because it’s about spending money. Did you know that on February 14th and that weekend, all of the restaurants up-sell their wine, desserts and expensive couples meals. I don’t believe in the consumerism that Valentines Day stands for, nor do I believe that there should be only ONE day that a couple should let each other know they care. Everyday we should do little things that don’t cost anything for the other. Maybe that is:

• text messaging a sweet message
• emailing a “thinking of you” note
• little things while at home
• unexpected hugs
• spending time with each other to really embracing why you’re in love

My boyfriends loved that they didn’t have to buy anything and I loved that they understood the daily expectations we were both responsible for. giggles

Today at a farewell party, I was talking with a coworker about me being single and that I might be single for a while. Of course, she inquired and I told her that it’s hard to find a guy who doesn’t want to have a kid.

I just loved her responses so I’ll give you the whole dialog:

My coworker said, “Wait what? Are you saying that you don’t want kids?”

Me, “Yeah, I don’t want kids.”

“Well why not?”

“Well…” pause “… I don’t want to take care of them. I don’t want to take off work because they’re sick. Really, I don’t want the responsibility.”

“What about adopting?”

“Uhm, the same thing. I don’t want the responsibility.”

“Well, I know a girl who didn’t want kids. After she met this one guy, she said she wanted to have kids with him. So never say never.”

…

To tell you the truth, this dialog is absolutely so common with me. I think it stems from the idea that they 1. don’t pay attention to what I’m saying and 2. they aren’t willing to understand my reasons because they already have an idea in their head of how relationships are supposed to be.

So right before I started typing this I thought of a comeback, or another thing to say when people ask me all shocked. So tell me what you think….

“I don’t have a good reason to have kids.”

How does that sound? This way they will be doing more of the talking while I get to understand where they are coming from. I figured, once someone hears that I don’t want to have kids, their little brains are just overwhelmed with their own personal reasons as to why they want to have a kid. So the flood of emotions and personal opinions whirl around in their head at about the same time I would be making my explanation. Hence, why it seems they are not listening.

What are your thoughts? Think my new response will help people understand me more? If it doesn’t help them understand some more than at least they would think it’s too much work, get board and drop the subject. (Which I really don’t mind at all).

It seems that everyone I talk to dreads the same part of the holidays – their family. What is it about our family that keeps us so tense and on edge?

Different Personalities

Families are usually made up of a large range of different personalities. So when we get all of these different personalities together in a small space (eg. your house) it is harder to avoid personalities that you don’t mesh well with. For example; I am open-minded, intelligent, half introvert / extrovert, and will start a conversation when there is long silence – where as the personalities that I don’t mesh well with are close-minded, “think” they’re smart, extroverts that need to control the conversation at all times.

How to Deal with Insensitive Extroverts

The best way to deal with these insensitive extroverts is to try to have fun with them. Make your life like a television show and use that persons personality against them for the entertainment of the audience. What I like doing is actually listen to what they’re saying, their tone and demeanor, then mention any inconsistencies. “I find it interesting that you lowered your voice when you talked about Mr. Smith. Why is that?”

Doing this should make them stop to THINK about their delivery. But the hilarious part about doing this is seeing that small speck of vulnerability in their eye as they play back the conversation in their head. To a person who wants to strong arm a conversation, showing vulnerability is a bit of control that you’ve taken away from them. Many insensitive extroverts try to regain control in different ways and it’s funny to guess what they will try to do before they do it. So make this a game and have fun with these people you are being forced to associate with. Make bets with family members how long it will take for that person to walk away, start yelling or call you names in retaliation. LOL this is what I do to the 2 insensitive extroverts in my immediate family, and I hope you have as much fun as I do!

Trying to stay sane this holiday season can be easier if you make a game out of it. In this case, a comedy television show based on your life. So have fun with it!