My Life

This is a quick post to jot down my concerns about wanting and not wanting to combine my personal (friends & family) Twitter feed with my freely childfree one. Advice?

Why I want to combine 2 Twitter accounts

• Easier to pay attention, respond & update these similar combined accounts
• You childfree people are just so awesome I think you’d like everything I get myself into

Why I don’t want to combine 2 Twitter accounts:

• You understand, friends & family will judge, preach, and all that!
• Where else am I going to talk about my friends & family?! hahahahahaaa
• Can’t decide on a Twitter handle

So really it comes down to friends & family is OK to share with childfreecity BUT childfreecity is not always the best thing to share with friends & family.

What should I do?

As a birthday present to myself I was able to get the birth control contraceptive of my dreams – the ParaGard copper IUD.

Before I went into the procedure I took a quick video of my thoughts about the non-hormonal IUD and the troubles I went through just to get it. Since I’ve use numerous birth control methods, I am so glad I was finally able to get this IUD as an alternative to female sterilization!

Please let me know what you think about my first vlog or your thoughts about the IUD contraceptive in the comments. I’d love to know your troubles with getting an IUD as a childfree person. :o)

-Jess

I remember how fun craft time was in elementary school when we dressed up a tissue box to transform it into a magical mailbox. My favorite was gluing paper cut-outs, conversation hearts and glitter to my Valentine card mailbox in hopes that the guy I liked would give me some clue that he liked me too somewhere in the hand selected card, signature and stickers on the envelope.

Later on during high school my view of Valentines Day started to become less magical. The thrill of delivering and receiving hand selected cards started to die because the girls were more into receiving gifts. True a handpicked rose was a gift, but it wasn’t enough compared to jewelry, candies and a dinner out.

I started realizing that the meaning of Valentines Day was to consume. Men needed to purchase expensive stuff because that was what showed your woman you loved her. What made things worse was the next day other women would ask, “what did you get?” So there was a sort of peer pressure among women to actually receive something of value.

To me, Valentines Day is not that magical because it’s about spending money. Did you know that on February 14th and that weekend, all of the restaurants up-sell their wine, desserts and expensive couples meals. I don’t believe in the consumerism that Valentines Day stands for, nor do I believe that there should be only ONE day that a couple should let each other know they care. Everyday we should do little things that don’t cost anything for the other. Maybe that is:

• text messaging a sweet message
• emailing a “thinking of you” note
• little things while at home
• unexpected hugs
• spending time with each other to really embracing why you’re in love

My boyfriends loved that they didn’t have to buy anything and I loved that they understood the daily expectations we were both responsible for. giggles

Today at a farewell party, I was talking with a coworker about me being single and that I might be single for a while. Of course, she inquired and I told her that it’s hard to find a guy who doesn’t want to have a kid.

I just loved her responses so I’ll give you the whole dialog:

My coworker said, “Wait what? Are you saying that you don’t want kids?”

Me, “Yeah, I don’t want kids.”

“Well why not?”

“Well…” pause “… I don’t want to take care of them. I don’t want to take off work because they’re sick. Really, I don’t want the responsibility.”

“What about adopting?”

“Uhm, the same thing. I don’t want the responsibility.”

“Well, I know a girl who didn’t want kids. After she met this one guy, she said she wanted to have kids with him. So never say never.”

…

To tell you the truth, this dialog is absolutely so common with me. I think it stems from the idea that they 1. don’t pay attention to what I’m saying and 2. they aren’t willing to understand my reasons because they already have an idea in their head of how relationships are supposed to be.

So right before I started typing this I thought of a comeback, or another thing to say when people ask me all shocked. So tell me what you think….

“I don’t have a good reason to have kids.”

How does that sound? This way they will be doing more of the talking while I get to understand where they are coming from. I figured, once someone hears that I don’t want to have kids, their little brains are just overwhelmed with their own personal reasons as to why they want to have a kid. So the flood of emotions and personal opinions whirl around in their head at about the same time I would be making my explanation. Hence, why it seems they are not listening.

What are your thoughts? Think my new response will help people understand me more? If it doesn’t help them understand some more than at least they would think it’s too much work, get board and drop the subject. (Which I really don’t mind at all).