Childfree

I’m pretty much curious as well as confused about the whole Female Sterilization procedure.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh_jFZRDYtU&hl=en&fs=1&]
I am curious because:

• I do not like putting all those extra hormones in my body every day.
• I want to be sure I’m not going to get pregnant.
• I do not want to have kids now and I don’t foresee me having kids in the future.

But then I’m also confused because:

• I am going to be permanently altering my body. (Even tattoos scare me)
• It’s a surgery! What if something goes wrong?!

Since I don’t have medical insurance to help fix me if anything goes wrong and I don’t have the money to pay for it, I would rather opt for a copper IUD.

I would rather be responsible for being on birth control then believing the guy is doing everything right. Since I would be the one having to deal with the “mistake” I’d rather prevent any mistakes before they start.

The types of birth control I’ve practiced varies:

• The Pill (Yaz, Ortho Tri-cyclen Lo, Loestrin)
• The NuvaRing
• A diaphragm
• Birth control patch
• Female condom / male condom
• Coitus Interruptus

And I refuse to use the shot or the implants. eww creepy

The type of birth control I really want to use is to have an IUD.  But because of my age and the fact that I never had given birth, the people at Planned Parenthood don’t really want me to use it.  And that makes me very sad…they don’t want to make me happy. Maybe I should give them an ultimatum; either give me ParaGard or Sterilize me permanently. Then we’ll see what they say. muahaha

I had been with my last boyfriend for over 4.5 years. Many of his traditional Catholic family expected that we would get married then start having kids. And he had the same future belief for us as his family did. Sadly, our relationship had to come to an end because I understood his reasons for wanting kids; they were completely contradicting my future lifestyle beliefs (even though I was also baptized Catholic).

• He wanted to experience taking care of a helpless kid – I didn’t want to devote my time and effort to someone other then my relationship
• He wanted to provide for a kid and give her the life he didn’t have – I want to enrich my own life because that is what my parents provided to me
• He was an only child and wants to have a dual child family – I had a younger brother whom I helped rear and I do not want to do it again
• He knows it’s going to be hard work and dedication – I dedicate my life to my partner and work hard at my career and our relationship
• He wants someone to look up to him and look to him for answers – I think it’s silly that people have to create someone that looks up to them whereas I build up my personal and professional relationships with my peers

These types of things are internal desires that he feels he needs to fulfill in order to live a full life. I, on the other hand, feel that caring for children is not all that it’s made up to be. I’m not going to try and convince him my way is right. Neither should he and his family try to convince me their way is right. The idea of doing what’s right is founded by societal, religious and family presures, but I choose to pick my own “right”. Now please stop trying to convince me of something I don’t believe.

Interesting fact: I find that people who think “you have to have kids” are the most close minded people I’ve met.

I was watching a comedian on the Jay Leno show last night. He had a bit about how his wife just loves their kids when he just doesn’t really want anything to do with them. And how she can spend hours upon hours with them, when he locks himself in the bathroom just to get away from his two bundles of joy.

What I don’t find funny is the fact that these parents wanted kids then write a bit about them knowing that other parents would also know of his feelings. Feelings of running away or finding someone to take care of the kids for him if his wife was no longer able to. I really don’t find that funny. But I do sympathize with him.

If I was told by my partner, family, friends and society that having kids is “just what you do” then I would be just as upset as he. Always worn down and not able to concentrate on work, or even your relationship when kids are in the picture. Many comedians get up on stage saying that after they have kids that’s all the relationship is about. There is no more “I” conversations, it’s all “them” references. As selfish as this sounds, I believe there are people out there that really didn’t know they had a choice to not have kids. And I feel for them – I really do.